Over the last few days, I’ve literally had ideas for about 17 posts… That’s the crazy thing about starting this blogging thing… Sometimes I have oodles of time and nothing to write about, and sometimes I have no time and loads to write about. ….Oh, and the other rule is this: your best ideas ALWAYS come when you can’t write, like when you’re conducting, or running, or driving, or teaching…. You get my drift.
In my last post, I wrote about graduating… When I was teaching full-time, I had this tradition where I would read the Dr. Seuss book, “Oh the Places You’ll Go!” on the last day of classes for the seniors, in every class I taught that had seniors in it. Sometimes, that meant having “story time” 8 times in 2 days, with the same book. Confession: I loved it- EVERY.TIME. Yes, these are high schoolers… Luckily, I was teaching at an all-girls school, and they loved it, too.
You can click on this link & have your own “story time” while you read the rest of this blog by clicking here:
In my humble opinion, this book is the quintessential graduation present– from Pre-K to Doctorate degrees. That’s the greatest thing about Dr. Seuss… He writes for everyone, from 2 to 202.
I think I was having a little bit of withdrawal, not reading it ONCE this year for the first time in many years. I had a rough Thursday and Friday, and then I found myself “googling” the text of the story. I re-read it, and it was perfect!
I think experienced the entire poem in the last week…
I have felt I can steer myself any direction I choose…
…. To the point of having too many choices & feeling totally confused…
…and not knowing what the “right” answer is for me next…
….To feeling that I am ready for anything under the sky…
…To playing games I can’t win, because I play against me,
To feeling that “today is my day!”
And most importantly, being reminded that
I will get mixed up, of course,
as I already know.
I’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as I go.
So I’ll be sure as I step;
Stepping with care and great tact
Life’s a Great Balancing Act.
Hopefully Dr. Seuss will forgive my paraphrasing and edits on his poem… Short from writing a legit novella for you all to read, that about sums up the last week. Where to go? What to do? What to change? To stay or move? To rest or to book up? For perhaps the first time in my adult life, it’s not “all figured out”… I was telling a friend that when I graduated from college and completed my music therapy internship, I had JOBS (yes, several) lined up & ready to go. So, this “leap” I’ve taken to transition into musician/ therapist is a scary one. I’ve left the predictability and stability of teaching full time. There are times when it feels petrifying and like I’ve leapt backwards… This year has worked out beautifully, but I knew it was a one year situation…. I’m looking to re-build a full-time salary, trying to keep myself open to find a counseling job upon my graduation in November, and keep my music stuff going. The more I “investigate” stuff and look at the job market in New Orleans, the more concerned I get… There aren’t a lot of counseling jobs out there. I have to entertain the idea of moving… and where that might be. Or what work might look like from August until this “new job” happens (IF it happens…eek!).
It’s exciting and horrifying all at once… especially for the girl who ALWAYS has her Google Calendar mapped out 12-16 months in advance…. Right now, Google hits August and it is pretty wide open… CRAZY!!!
While I can say I have no firm ideas or plans, I hope to spend some time traveling & visiting friends/family once my internship wraps up in mid-July…
However, I am reminded of the wisdom of Deepak Chopra, who said on the Oprah Lifeclass (I was kinda obsessed with those) “The most important moment anytime is NOW.”
This week offers a lot to take in: friends in town, kids graduating, my thesis defense, starting a new group at my internship site, a friend’s wedding, and a workshop with a therapy guru I really am intrigued by… AND THE MUCH ANTICIPATED/ FEARED DR. SPECTOR APPOINTMENT.
…Tomorrow, 10:15 = the appointment
…Tomorrow evening= blog update. Here’s to hoping for a good one!
(In case you were wondering, I’ve opted against a post of “emotional vomit”, sharing all of my anxiety in anticipation of this visit… But I appreciate your good vibes tomorrow… Thanks!)
Many, many friends have been so good, listening to my “freak outs”, offering reassurance, and reminding me that I am a little bit of a control freak, perfectionist, and “fixer”… and that perhaps I could try to just relax and let go and trust the universe… for a few seconds (or at least go to Pilates or for a run to re-coup a little sanity). After all, they point out, this year has been pretty amazing… and it truly has been.
So, who knows what’s next… but if there’s anything I am sure of, no matter what happens, where I go or stay, good or bad, planned or not, at the end of the day or the month or the year, I ALWAYS can look back and say,
“Oh, the places I’ve been!”
Thanks for reading.