Paths

Standard

“Life always has a way of leading us towards new paths; however, many of us refuse to follow Life’s new course primarily because it leads to a foreign area/situation, we’ve already invested too much time in the present situation and/or we’ve become too comfortable in our current moment in life…and that’s when Life comes and gives you a painful kick in the ‘arse’…and let’s just say my stubborn arse has been the recipient of many of those swift kicks…but Time never fails in proving that that kick was the best thing that could’ve happened to you:) Point taken, Life, I’m moving on. Who’s got the margaritas?”  -C.K.

A friend of mine from high school and undergrad wrote this today, and posted it as her status on facebook… I had to respond… it sooo resonated with me; me of the past and me of the present. I think it speaks to an issue many of us struggle with- and not just once, but over and over in our lives- when we know it’s time to probably move on- but we don’t, or we need that ‘kick in the ‘arse’’ as my friend says, to finally get ourselves in gear- be it a job, a city, a relationship, a career, a friendship, a total ‘change in course’ or any/all of the above.

But what I love the most about what my friend wrote is the end- she succinctly said what I think I was trying to get to in a rather tangential post last week… those change points (although often times painful or challenging or hard or trying) are often the starting points for the best things that happen to you in life…. Over and over again.

But, being the brilliant creatures that we are, it’s a lesson we (or, at least my friend and I) have to learn over and over and over again… Perhaps as we cross the threshold of 30 it’ll begin to sink in for good! 🙂

Even from my present place of contentment, I still feel that twinge of “did I do the right thing?” or “what would my life be like if I hadn’t done ____?” on occasion… For example, the other day I saw some pictures that had some of my old furniture in it- my old kitchen table, my old stemware… I didn’t want it back… I didn’t want that situation back… but it was just strange to see it…. Almost like an exhibit from a museum featuring a “life that was once yours”… just now, without you, and featuring new characters.

In a similar but different way, I’m sure there are people and places that feel the same way about me…. My high school girls had their Christmas Concert this past Thursday…. I miss them, and knew it was the concert day. I worked and then went to a (awesome) Trombone Shorty concert here with friends, celebrating my graduation. I thought of “my girls” and thought of how I missed rehearsing with them… and how it’s strange I won’t sing in or conduct ANY Christmas concerts this year… I sent them a little e-mail letting them know I knew it’d be a great concert and they were on my mind… One of them said, “It was fine, but it wasn’t the same without you”…. Narcissistic as it may sound, I’m glad it wasn’t the same (although I’m sure it was beautiful)… It’s good to know I’m not the only one who ‘feels’ these changes and differences as life moves on and evolves.

I am fully enjoying life post- grad school… I have had 3 fun weekends in a row, and have 2 more planned before heading home for Christmas break. I felt a twinge of guilt (thank you, Catholics!) because despite attending rehearsal, I’ve skipped 11am mass with the choir for the past 3 weeks… and that particular Mass doesn’t fit in the schedule for the next two weekends either…. But again, it’s all part of ‘embracing the change’…. For the last 9 or so years, I’ve had a church gig- and while I very much enjoyed it and the people I sang with there, it’s nice to not ‘have to’ go… I’m sure it’s a little annoying to the director, but it’s incredibly freeing and fun to be able to stay out/up late, or to just have a lazy Sunday morning.

When I wrapped up coursework I seriously asked a friend, “Ok, I have only 1 job and no school left… it was fun for a few days, but what do I do now?!?” Her response was, “try having a life, maybe?”

Well, I’ve been doing just that. It’s pretty awesome. Just sayin’.

So come visit me, people! 🙂

Job Update:

Hopefully, I’m not careening towards “I didn’t get the ‘perfect job’ for the 3rd time life crisis”…. I’m actively doing all I can to avoid it…. But I’m nervous….

Last week was a great week on the job hunting front… I finally heard from two great non-profits in the Chicago area that I’ve been trying to get in with since I moved here…. I probably submitted resumes and cover letters for 7-8 positions with each of these organizations since I moved here… So it was super exciting to finally hear from them. I had successful phone interviews with both, and landed a face-to-face interview with both as well…. I feel like they both went well, and am hoping to get a 2nd/final interview scheduled with each this week. There is one job, working with an adolescent program that I am particularly excited about (Read: totally in love with, see myself there, etc, etc..). I also have an interview for a job out in the suburbs on Wednesday.

In any case, that much ‘action’ in one week on my job search helps to restore hope that something is gonna work out, and soon.

After my last job disappointment ‘crash and burn’ when I realized I simply cannot stop myself from getting emotionally invested when I see a place and a position that I think would be a good fit, my friend and I adopted a new mantra for my job search: EBNTE, or “Excited, but not too excited”. I’m trying to employ that strategy… while hoping at the same time I don’t need it…. While a great philosophy, I think I still have some work to do on implementation. 🙂

Finally, one of my favorite graduation gifts was a beautiful teal leather notebook/ journal given to me by one of my friends… and on the front of it is printed, “She’s a dreamer, a doer, a thinker, she sees possibility everywhere.”

The fact that someone thinks that fits me is a pretty high compliment… and one I plan to do my best to live up to.

I think it’s also a pretty good vision statement for anyone as they head down whatever paths life leads them down… or gives them a ‘swift kick in the arse’ about to help them get a clue, as my friend so eloquently put it. 🙂

I think it might just be the new quote on my quote board in my kitchen this week.

If your life’s mantra was on the cover of a fancy journal, what would you hope for it to say?

Continuing down the path,

-TM

PS- Speaking of paths, I naturally think of Pocahontas (Disney version)… “Just around the river bend!”… Anyone else think it’s awesome there’s some Disney movies on Netflix streaming now too??? Love that!!

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